Oh, Responsibilities.

I had one of those days where suddenly everything clicks, and I yell "CRAP."

Yeah. I've been having alot of those lately.

This thing will be like a schedule of me complaining/mentioning about all the things that I have to do.

And these are NOT in priority order.

Now, please note, that I'm not complaining about the things... just the fact that I have to do them all at the same time...

Let's start with getting my Calc grade up to a passing grade. Yes, I admit it, I am not doing so hot in Calculus. But I'm trying so hard! I'm doing all of my homework, asking all of my smart friends to help me, and even tomorrow I'm going in to ask help from the teach. Oy, why did I get myself into this?

Next is keeping all my other grades A's. Singularly, that's not very hard. But that combined with everything else makes it tougher.

Now there's choir. Not choir choir, but managing the choir. Yes we got sweepstakes! WOO! But, now i have to throw a banquet. boo. Well i dont mind doing it. I'm actually enjoying it quite a bit, but somehow it tends to go down on my priority list as my day goes on. Still, I need to find fabric, prices for stands, established photographer information, make a check list of all the things needed, get the tshirts printed, keep my notes together, check that the payments go to the right people, copy the shirt design for ms paul, and find bamboo door-hangers.

Now there's HBU. I got a call-back for the FOCUS and Refuge auditions, which is great! the bad thing is that it's next wednesday, meaning it's SOON and I dont feel like I have time to get completely ready!! I'm freaking out about that!!!

Private voice lesson recital is coming up, and Mrs. White is having me sing Il Bacio, which is a really long, slightly complicated song that I dont think I have time to learn!!

Graduation announcements need to be done soon. So do Banquet and Prom plans. So much planning!!! Oh, and birthday planning. That's a biggie, too.

Specifically this week, I'm a part of two worship bands. One has two practices and one show...the other has one practice and no shows until (technically) next week. I'm getting alot of band practice this week. I love it, but it's alot!!

And Lastly, sadly, but DEFINITELY not least...I'm having a hard time dedicating time AND focus to God. So much is in my mind (music, planning, ideas, equations...) that I don't feel like I'm spending raw time with God, which really depresses me, and I dont feel like I can control the chaos in my mind sometimes. Or, when I finally get my mind to calm down, I fall asleep when I'm praying, and then I feel guilty when I wake up, and then I fall asleep again while I'm praying for forgiveness and praising for patience, then I wake up feeling guilty...and it's just a bad cycle.

I don't know how conventional this is, but I wanted to ask that for those who have a spare thought...pray for me that I may be able to sit and focus and dedicate part of my day to God. I really need some silence in my life, and I want to give that silence as worship to God.

As for those smarties who notice the irony of this blog (i have no time...yet here i am writing a blog!) I'm taking time out of my 'me' time to write this. This is me splurging what's on my mind, which I have to do almost everyday, either verbally (to someone else or even to myself) or on paper.

Well, this is all that I have for today!!


Your Sister in Christ