God is good...

..all the time.

Yesterday (Friday) was crazy. I felt like I was losing my sanity. So much pressure, so many things to do, and I have to do them all perfectly. It was this weird feeling that even though I had time to do stuff, I didn't know what to do with it... I didn't know where to begin. And honestly, I didn't get anything done because I just sat there and thought for a while.

Sometimes, I hate it inside of my head.

Its like a cloud of confusion and chaos just floats around there, and there doesn't seem to be a light shining through.

But suddenly, He was there.

When I got off of work at midnight, I walked outside and randomly walked to the middle of the courtyard and looked up.... and I saw the vast heavens. Yep. In the middle of Houston, I saw stars. It was overwhelming seeing that... seeing that God is greater than my tiny mind and in control of everything. Even if I fail at life, God is still going to use me.

I don't really remember what happened next, but I ended up in the prayer room...crying. I was staring at the Bible sitting in the middle of the table, and I realized that God's Word was the only thing alive in that room.

God started pushing away all my thoughts and made me focus on Him, and He reminded me that He's the goal I'm pushing for, not for perfection, not even (really) a degree or a masters, but Him. If, in my pursuit of glorifying Him, I obtain a degree and a job, then that's a blessing and a reward, but not the end goal.

He made me focus on the different areas of my life. School, sororities, music, friends... what I need to change to improve my life for Christ. I came to realize that (usually) when there's something wrong in my life, I avoid thinking about it because I don't want to deal with it. He pretty much forced me to think through things and deal with them (and in the end, deal with Him).

And THEN, to top it all off, I had a strange dream about marriage (and I NEVER have dreams about marriage) to make me THINK about marriage, which (call me strange) I don't do too often. [The rest of this conversation will be made with close friends. Sorry...]

The Lord is always teaching me new things, and I am so incredibly thankful for His patience and grace because I would hate to see who I would be without it.