conviction

Today I was thinking about how I don't like to be told that I'm wrong.
What's sad is that I'm wrong a lot. Just like anyone else, really.
I don't like being corrected, I don't like having to admit that I was wrong.

Now the odd thing about this is that almost always, I'm thankful for the criticism later in life, because then I wanted to changed, and was now working on it or had actually changed.

What I was convicted of today (ironically enough) is that sometimes I avoid being convicted. I mean i know that's an iffy statement but if there is something that I know will convict me, then I might avoid doing it. For instance, reading intense books, or listening to podcasts.
Now I do read those books and listen to podcasts but sometimes I might choose not to because I don't feel like feeling that conviction.
Now is when I punch myself in the face for being so stupid.
Because... that is most likely when I'll need those things and those convictions.

In a way, this kind of helps me understand why people turn away from God when they've done something bad. They don't want to directly feel the conviction, because their guilt is enough, or because they don't want to be wrong.

I just need to be strong enough to face the convictions and deal with the shame of being sinful. I can't be afraid of being humbled and I just need to constantly remind myself that my faith is that I am sinful and imperfect and He frees me from my flesh.
and my pride.